Comments on: Casual Sex Is Screwing Relationships

By: minusthebars

minusthebars — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:12:28 +0000

I think casual sex has both revived and killed relationships. If you've experienced casual sex, then, some people, seek a steady relationship even more.

By: uncontainable_spirit

uncontainable_spirit — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:19:24 +0000

We're not saying anything different. Or at least it seems that way. I'm saying that you should model yourself after men. You're saying that you should model yourself after men. My stance is that men should not listen to what women tell them about what men should and should not be doing. You have not contradicted that.

I never disregarded the positive effects of the 'insight' of women. My position wasn't regarding insight. I personally believe that a man is approx 70% masculine and 30% feminine and conversely a woman is 70% feminine and 30% masculine. So to be a complete man... you have to have that 30% of 'insight' from the woman's perspective. A man that doesn't have that at all fails as a man. 70% is not a passing grade.

My overarching point is that only men can teach boys to be men. There is no way that women can teach boys to be men because women aren't men. Are the insights of women valuable? Yes. Are women to be treated with love, respect, and admiration? Yes. Should women tell men what they should and shouldn't be doing in order to be men? How can they? The same is true with women... men should have no say whatsoever in the abortion debate because it's a woman's body. We cannot even begin to understand. We can provide insight on what we want in a woman and what we like or dislike... but that's about it. Furthermore... I dare you to try to do anything other than give your opinion. Women will not accept men telling them how to be women. It's time for men to do the same.

By: mystiphi

mystiphi — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:05:41 +0000

Actually, I disagree. While we model ourselves after other men (be they good or horrible), women have to communicate what their expectations are of their partner and we the same. While men (fathers, uncles, mentors, big bros) can teach us why GQ is important for a man, it is the women (mother, grandmother, big sis, best female friend) that can give insight on why a women finds those same things as important and why they seek them in their man. With two perspectives, a man or woman can make the best judgement of what they want and decide.
As far as committment goes, it has to be a good fit. ” when the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear” is the old saying. I see people decide to commit, but their person was three people and some exes later. Take your time, explore, and be patient. When they show up, you'll know it.

By: uncontainable_spirit

uncontainable_spirit — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 07:48:49 +0000

Welcome to the world of feminism and "equality"... back in the 20's, 30's, 40'sm 50's etc... women understood that they had the control and exercised that control. Men were the head but women were the neck and the neck turns the head. Some women in that day were still having sex casually but it was extremely rare and not sanctioned by society. Women of that day understand that they were different from men and behaved as such. Those women also understood that sex was not to be given away without commitment. What did you get as a result? Solid marriages, children being raised by both parents and a social sanction against OOW births and single parenthood.

Fast-forward to the world of feminism and equality and what have we? Single moms, no fathers in the lives of their children, increased prison presence, and the blame laid on the men for allowing women to have what they 'said' that they wanted. LOL!

Simply put... 'Brothers' don't have to reform anything because 'Brothers' didn't start this.

By: uncontainable_spirit

uncontainable_spirit — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 07:42:07 +0000

Dude… If you're ready to commit then commit. If not then don't. That simple. Be honest with yourself and the other party and forget about everyone else. Trust me on this.

ALSO… please don't EVER listen to what women tell you about what men should and should not be doing. Your focus as a man should be on modeling after men who are doing what you want to do and who have what you want to have. No woman anywhere at any time can teach a man to be a man or to behave as a man should behave because they are not men. The inverse is true as well, however I rarely see men trying to tell females how to become women.

By: uncontainable_spirit

uncontainable_spirit — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 07:36:40 +0000

Wow! I always knew that some women thought very little of men as a whole. Thank you for bolstering that. Great appreciated.

By: uncontainable_spirit

uncontainable_spirit — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 07:34:51 +0000

Hilarious and incredible. This can be laid squarely at the feet of feminism. LOL! Welcome to equality, you asked for it… it's here… deal with it.

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By: swiv

swiv — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:39:38 +0000

good grief. men will never do this.

By: CocoaDiva

CocoaDiva — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:34:41 +0000

Girl, what is it that is keeping you around for 10 years! Are you waiting for the day when he wakes up and realizes its you? 10 years is a long time, I know it hurts like hell when someone can't see what a great person you are and are willing to risk losing you. However, if he wanted it he would grab it. If you keep sexing him and hanging around he knows he has you. You also have allowed him to walk all over you…so he has a learned behaviour pattern.

I hate to say it but let it go! You may be blocking your blessing. And you already have seen that your casual relationship isn't going the way you want. Be strong girl.

By: myaka0801

myaka0801 — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 13:58:08 +0000

I agree am dealing with this right now with someone I have known for 10 years..I want very much to walk away due to the fact there are other women along with one being in the same sorority I know of her but she has no idea about me…I have given him notice that we can end what we are doing at anytime but his answer is always not yet…the sex why I am around but trying to stay nonemotional is getting very hard..I really don't think I can continue like this but how do I walk away….

By: CinnamonCharm

CinnamonCharm — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:59:09 +0000

I'm going to have to cosign. I just ended a sex only relationship yesterday because go figure- I caught feelings and he's enjoying occasional benefits from someone else. So, I've learned another lesson that a year ago I wouldn't have because I didn't care about it being sex only because fresh out of a divorce I wasn't relationship ready myself. Great article!

By: U_Unadulterated

U_Unadulterated — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:21:11 +0000

Cocoa Diva, I am in your Amen corner! Casual sex has ruined the development of real quality relationships. With each random hook-up a person engages in that "jumpoff" takes a withdrawal from their love bank, regardless if they are male or female. There are a lot of broke people out here pretending to be "ballin" when it comes to love and sex. I am of the belief that the emotional component to sex can't be isolated from the act in itself. People lie to themselves in order to accept this kind of behavior as ok. They use the "man shortage" excuse or the infamous "hey I got needs too" line to justify being purely sexual and unattached to their partner of the moment.

You inspired me to expand this topic on my blog soon, check me out at
http://u-unadulterated.blogspot.com/

By: U-Unadulterated

U-Unadulterated — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 19:08:15 +0000

Cocoa Diva, I am in your Amen corner! Casual sex has ruined the development of real quality relationships. With each random hook-up a person engages in that "jumpoff" takes a withdrawal from their love bank, regardless if they are male or female. There are a lot of broke people out here pretending to be "ballin" when it comes to love and sex. I am of the belief that the emotional componet to sex can't be isolated from the act in itself. People lie to themselves in order to accept this kind of behavior as ok. They use the "man shortage" excuse or the infamouse "hey I got needs too" line to justify being purely sexual and unattached to their partner of the moment.

You inspired me to expand this topic on my blog soon, check me out at
http://u-unadulterated.blogspot.com/