Facebook and Instant Messaging Do Not Equal Dating

Social Networking Doesn't Mean You Are Dating

Although I am probably the biggest culprit, I wish people would realize that the Internet should not take the place of building interpersonal relationships with people. In this day and age, we all get so busy with work, school, random organizations, and just general relaxation, that  during our free moments we fail to take time out from our busy day and get to know people emotionally.

Because we get so hung up in technology we often misinterpret a person’s intentions and jump the proverbial relationship gun.  These forms of communication allow you to create any image of yourself you want to.   Nothing can make up for real time human interaction to learn about a person.   Facebook, Black Berry Messager, Texts, and GChat conversations really screw up dating ettiquite and can cause relationships to fail before they start.

1. I only like your Facebook Style- Facebook can set you up for failure. Just because I comment on your pictures, laugh at your current status, or throw you a witty what’s up on your wall doesn’t mean I am remotely interested in dating you. People keep treating Facebook like its the new Match.com for the new millenium.  Ladies and Gents, please don’t misinterpret casual Facebook communication as a holler.  If they are really interested in you, phones still exist, swap numbers and set something up. 

Please stop killing yourself over questions like “He didn’t respond to my Facebook message, maybe he isn’t interested.”   or “I added a woman I met at the club on Facebook – does that mean she’ll think I’m desperate?” Get their number, chat it up, and see where that takes you. Facebook is so passive aggressive.  E-Flirting is just E-Flirting.  Don’t go develping weird e-crushes or calling them your boo.

2.  I GChat you because I am bored, or slacking – Guess what, Gchat, AIM, Twitter, etc do not replace real time conversations.  Chances are, I am hitting you up with some random thought I had during the day.   Or, I may be genuinely interested in you and I may be feeling a little flirtateous or randy and may say something a little risque to spice up the work day.  I may get busy at work and not hit you up for days.  A real world does exist apart from IMs and it’s on both parties to initiate real time communication. 

Flirty messages and emoticons don’t really mean that person wants to marry you or make you their new relationship partner.  I overuse “lol” in sentences…..someone else may over use the emoticons.  Don’t go picking out china or thinking of titles for your first web photo album.

3.  Men and Chat -  If he’s not Gchatting or IM-ing you every time he signs on, it doesn’t mean he isn’t interested. Men tend to be less chat-friendly than women, so don’t worry if a few of your IMs go unanswered.   Yes, I know its frustrating and irritating as hell, especially if you are the constant IM initiator.  If you find you are always starting the convos that may be your cue to take the chat offline.   But, if he is generally non-responsive offline, or makes no attempts to get to know you real-time, it may be a sign to cut your losses.

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