Men Are Handing Out Bad Relationship Advice?

Man there is some nonsense going on. It's always the man's job to respond to the woman's emotional nature, how about women start thinking sometimes and not letting emotions run them completely. Look at the examples given, there is nothing gained by letting her have her emotions stroked, because she is just going to become more spoiled and actually believe that they are right because they are pacified by getting their way. You have to balance both for sure but men who are in relationships are going to behave for long-term happiness not like the "womanizer" who is going to make her feel good enough to get what he wants. Sometimes you have to give them what they need, not what they want.

I'm not sure how giving women "what they need, not what they want" has anything at all to do with the list and men complaining, so I won't get distracted by that comment. Instead, I will ask you to be more specific, as we can never find solutions to any real problem with generalizations.

So tell us this: Are you currently married to a woman who isn't giving you sex as often as you like? How have you chosen to deal with this? If not, then, let's rephrase it. Have you ever been in a situation with your wife where you were not getting the sex you desired? How did you fix the problem? Did you whine and complain about it with your homeboys, or did you do something else?

The answer to those questions will reveal everything.

As for your comment: "there is nothing gained by letting her have her emotions stroked, because she is just going to become more spoiled and actually believe that they are right because they are pacified by getting their way."

The problem with that statement is that it only "sounds good" to folks who enjoy playing the role of "victims" in their relationships. Here is the real deal: If you have a wife who is emotionally insecure and constantly demanding attention, even when she is wrong or out of bounds, a woman who always needs her "ego or emotions stroked," then you STILL don't get a sympathetic ear from us because YOU CHOSE TO MARRY THE BROAD!

If you didn't take the time to truly discover who she really was on the inside before you put the ring on her finger, then complaining three years later is merely your way of avoiding responsibility for your actions. Simply put, you made your bed, now lie in it and stop complaining.

We believe in balance---completely. But if you are already married to a female that isn't giving "balance" in the relationship, trying to take more than she gives, then you can't really get mad at her because that is the woman you chose--you can only get mad with yourself because you didn't take the time to screen through her true personality and character and discover her neediness.

So yes, if you married a woman who is spoiled and selfish, then it's going to likely be a romantic imbalance (unless you learn the art of romantic manipulation), but that is what you chose when you said "I Do" so you have to make the best out of it. Complaining, even in this situation, does nothing to secure your relationship.

Good lawd.....I need to read this tonight. Yall have been going at it!!!

@ Tau

You admitted that you didn't read the essay that this post is referring to. This probably explains why you've insisted on using arguments that have nothing to do with the points made--you are arguing without all the information. So allow me to add the final connection for you. The original list by Posh was, as you pointed out, geared towards women, detailing a list of things some guys think but don't tell women. We noticed how the list didn't deal with the root problems in the relationships, so we made a response post at our site called "Real Talk: Man to Man" that was geared to MEN, explaining to them the flaw in the mindset of those type thoughts and complaints.

This is why you should always get all the information before you open your mouth. Many times you will get the answers to your questions or arguments well before the need to speak comes over you. This is why you keep thinking it's out of context, because you are half armed with the information, shooting blanks out of ignorance. Our post that this article is referring to was for MEN in committed relationships, so your point about the past list being for women has no relevancy in this discussion at all.

These are our final thoughts to you--because you are not offering solutions to the problem the way we are, you are merely on the sidelines seemingly yapping for attention. If you begin offering detailed solutions for those men who are whining about not getting sex from their wives, we will solute you if you are right, we will chastise it if it's another one of those "sound good," surface answers that don't deal with the root problems. We are against bad romantic advice, no matter who gives them out. We have no interests in a high school tit-for-tat unless it's focused on giving out answers and solutions. (Feel free to offer your own suggestions to men complaining about sex with their wives, and we will endorse it if it passes the reality test. Otherwise, any response that doesn't help brothers and sisters begin the process of securing their relationships will be completely ignored by us. We are about results, not sideline distractions.)

@To MEN in committed relationships

If you are in a committed relationship and are not getting sex from your significant other, you can follow the wimp mindset and complain about it, whining about needing a "cheat sheet" and begging your woman to make it "easy" for you. Or you can follow the detailed advice we have given above, and start back investing time and energy into your wife, discovering new and creative ways to seduce her.

As grown men, the choice is yours. We stand behind every solution we have offered, and we guarantee it will work for you--provided, of course, you are not being sexually punished for cheating or some other violation. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can stop seducing your wife just because you have three kids with her and several years in the bank. We assure you that this is a mistake that could lead to a disaster. Marriage is a lifetime commitment--recommit yourself to it.

TBC

@ TBC

We're not going to see eye-to-eye on this and that's fine.

I commend you all for the solutions-oriented work you're trying to do over at http://theblackcritic.com/ (< I'm even helping you pub). I read the "The B.S. Excuse: When Black Women Date White Men" piece and have to admit that it's good. Damn good. Best of luck with The Launch.

Tau.

I guess I'm the only other person who still finds this entertaining... or is still paying attention to it...

Can I try to settle this 'argument' by saying you're both, to some extent, correct?

People in relationships either decide it's not ok to cheat, and then don't, or decide maybe sometimes it is, and then do. If a chick has had it up to ^here^ with a dude and decides that it's an excuse to step out on him, then it's pretty much the luck of the draw for the next dude who happens to be around when she's angry enough/tired enough/horny enough to go for it

That said, it doesn't mean it will be just *any* dude; if she's willing to risk breaking up a happy home to get some strange it had better be worth it. A woman will already know what traits she wants in her man-mistress (manstress? Nah, that one will never catch on) and will be on the look-out for those. It's not like dudes like BlackCritic are luring little girls into the back of their windowless van with promises of candy and funny stories. They are grown women who know what they are doing, they get into that game because they think it looks like fun and they want to play too. The dude can play Casanova all he wants to willing partners who are bored with their own men want to live out that fantasy; after all if someone's ego is so fragile that the smallest slight by their spouse will wound them to the core, there is nothing like a new dude who is "passionate and determined" to win her um, *affection* to make her feel all better... at least for a little while

@ the Black Critic

I appreciate the fact that you all have once again taken the time to post outside of your own blog to continue the discourse. I bring up the point of context because the blog was labeled "What Black Men Think (But Will Never Tell You)" indicating that it was aimed at WOMEN who date Black Men. Is it safe to say that we agree that none of the points are untrue? If so, then that's the only point I was making. Your long-ass posts are more adequately and appropriately positioned in something titled "Men: This is Why You Keep Losing Your Girl". As stated before, I don't disagree with what you've typed, just the context. I see the "What Black Men Think (But Will Never Tell You)" post as a heads-up to the ladies while you all see it as men complaining. Since the post wasn't aimed at Black Men, I'm not really sure how you view it as a "pity party" or "barbershop talk". Either way, based on this differing view of the same coin, I'm going to put the context discussion to the side.

Oh wait, not yet. Along those same lines, there's no way for me to defend "complaining men" (I wasn't defending anything but the integrity of the list) because I didn't view the post as men complaining. Now, I'm going to put context to the side.

I find it almost comical that you all make it seem like it's THAT difficult to pull another man's girl. You all are either on some Space-Age Pimpin' or you're just feeling yourselves - I'd assume the latter, but since I haven't read your blog or any of the associated stories, I'll reserve judgment. You toss around words like "Don Juan", "Casanova", and "passionately determined seducer of women". It's funny. I'm actually laughing as I type this. You don't have to be an All-American, you only really have to be second-string Varsity. I'm not trying to take the wind from your sails, but, seriously, gentlemen, it's not as difficult as you all make it seem. Or maybe I overestimate the amount of 'Game' the common man has. I'm willing to accept that too.

Feel free to let me know what you think.

Tau.

@Tau,

There is actually a flaw in your argument that's so obvious, I'm a bit surprised you are sticking with it. You keep bringing up the fact that men actually think this way, as though that has any bearing whatsoever on our argument that it's a mistake to harbor such a passive, complaining mindset. (We agree with you that we should learn to become more concise, but you should take your own advice and discover context.)

In the original post at our site, as well as every comment made in response, we have never argued that men don't somehow actually think this way---so your whole angle is bent out of shape. We merely point out to men that this mindset doesn't work in any real way to secure their relationship. We show why it's a mistake, we explain how it becomes a problem in the future, and we give practical solutions that they can actually use right now to begin better securing their relationships.

For you to defend the whiny, complaining mindset of the men who produced the #2 on the list, just because there are men who actually think this way is beyond illogical, it's ridiculous. It doesn't matter if two men think this way or two million, it still doesn't work to secure their relationships.

By your logic, you will be over here defending child molesting next, just because there are men who actually think it's right. What about domestic abuse? You gonna defend that too---just because there are men who actually think it's okay? Do you see the flaw in that logic? You are trying to say that because there are men who actually think a certain way, it should be defended. We say, instead, that either something works or it doesn't work in a romantic relationship--it doesn't matter who thinks what. By your logic, you could be over there defending lynching black kids, because, somewhere, there's people who actually think that way. We don't concern ourselves with those type distractions, as it has no point. It doesn't matter what they actually think--if it's wrong, it's wrong.

The thing folks won't admit openly, especially in the black community, is how much of a problem relationships have become--and yes, we are a part of that problem.

But we submit that a large part of this problem comes from the fact that too many of the people handing out romantic advice don't know what they are talking about.

They give out vague suggestions that sound good, but have no practical value or use in the real world, in real situations. They tell some desperate sister to look in churches for men, as though church-going men are any more honest and faithful than club men. Then, when she get's abused and mistreated by Mr. Church Man, she start's feeling depressed and undeserving, mistakenly thinking that she did everything "right" so it has to be something wrong with "her."

No, sister. You just got bad advice from people who don't know what they are talking about.

Or, an earnest guy who wants to improve his relationship but doesn't know how, so he turns to the advice of others, then he reads stuff like the list of complaints from the guys here, and starts thinking that all he has to do is get his wife to write down a "cheat sheet" every time there's a problem, and he'll be alright. Then, when he discovers some random indiscretion, he's balled in a corner, crying, ready to murder everything in the house because he followed the "advice" to the letter, and did everything "right."

No, brother. You got backwards advice from folks who conned you with their guesswork.

We haven't been online long, but it's one of the most common things we've seen. There are hundreds of people peddling false information--they hand out "feel good" solutions that do not deal with the root issues. It's the romantic equivalent of prescribing a haircut to someone suffering from a heart attack. Someone has to call out this stuff, because a lot of people are believing bullshit advice that doesn't work in real life situations. It ends up doing more harm than good.

Our point, as it relates to our response to the original article, is that these guys who possess the "complain" mindset are making a very romantically dangerous mistake. They are looking for quick fixes, and "easy" solutions instead of investing the necessary resources to secure their relationships. Whining with your lips poked out that your woman isn't giving you sex instead of mapping out a strategy to upgrade your seduction game has long term consequences.

If you, or anyone else, can show us how whining and complaining like scorned teenagers actually works in any real way to secure a committed relationship, then please explain it. In your response, map out how having a "complaining" mindset is productive in a romantic way.

Consider that. If you can't explain how it helps in a relationship, then doesn't that mean it's a waste of energy, it's more about their bruised egos than anything else? If it doesn't work, then how is it any better than beauty salon gossip? (Worrying about defending it because a bunch of men actually think that way is beyond ludicrous, it's virtually inexcusable. )

As for the comment about about game 101, you are continuously using "sound good" examples on this point that isn't based on real life experience. Let me make this absolutely clear:

The men who have the whining and complaining mindset who mope when their wives aren't giving them sex when they want it, ARE NOT the type guys who go out and snatch other men's wives with any degree of success. You are arguing against reality.

The type men who whine and complain about not getting sex from their wives are the type men who seek out "easy" solutions and "quick" fixes. They ARE NOT the type men who have the patience and degree of skill to manipulate another man's woman with continuous success.

INSTEAD, these type men are the ones who spend money to get some young girl because it's "easy" and doesn't require much work. Or they find a SINGLE woman who will put up with their crap. Or they go to prostitutes or strippers. These men DO NOT go out and start chasing after other men's women because it requires a dedication and focus that their mindset isn't interested in. (Every now and again, there may be an exception, but for the most part, the men who have the "whining and complaining" mindset look for "easy" solutions that do not require any real work, so they DO NOT focus on chasing the wives of other men and are rarely successful.)

They almost always go for the easy options, which is why you will see so many old, corny married men around 40 years old hiding out with some 19 or 20 year old female he is basically "paying" for. These guys are intimidated by any real challenge.

Maybe you come from a part of the planet we haven't visited yet, where men with the sexually "complaining" mindset suddenly turn into Don Juan or Casanova once they get in the company of challenging married women. Let us know where these guys hide out at because we have been to over 3 fourths of the states in America, and close to a dozen different countries, and we have never seen a mindset that is decidedly "lazy and complaining and whining" suddenly mutate into some kind of passionately determined seducer of married women.

Just like there are several different types of women, there are different types of men. The type men who throw tempter tantrums and pity parties over not getting sex from their wives simply are NOT the type men who can seduce married women with any real success.

Feel free to let us know how a guy "complaining" about not getting sex from his wife helps secure his romantic relationship.

@ Black Critic

I'm quite surprised to see that a simple seven sentences could inspire such a Homeric-like (think Odyssey and Iliad) response from you. Concision, brothers. Concision.

Not one the 463,654,639,037,590 lines you typed disputes 'what' men think - only 'why' men shouldn't think that way. It's the equivalent of someone saying "KKK members think Blacks and Jews are inherently inferior" and you saying "Here are all of the reasons why Klan members should love Black and Jews". The thing is, I don't disagree with most of what you typed, it's just out of context. Way out of context. My point is that it's out of context. Contextually, it's not right. Context. Context. Context. Whoever typed the response to me had Diarrhea of the Mouth (fingers), but didn't address any of my points. From what you've posted on this site, it looks like your Internet schtick is to, to borrow a phrase from RichBrand, hop in like Joe and "Do All the Things Your Man Won't Do"...or at least talk about it. I'm not mad at you. It seems like a good way to 1. drive traffic to your site/blog and 2. come up on females.

"Any cat with a modicum of game can tell a female what she wants to hear and come up on another man's chick"

A five minute conversation with a female can reveal 'pain points' in her relationship. As a man in a relationship you have to be working on all six cylinders, but as a man creeping with another cat's girl, you only have work on the one cylinder he's slacking. That's Game 101. As such, working on one cylinder is much easier than working on all six, therefore, any cat with a modicum of game can do it. There's nothing difficult about that.

We rarely respond to comments outside our site because, as we have learned from past experience, the guys most offended by the observations we make are usually the exact same guys who, basically, hand deliver their wives or girlfriends to us. Not many guys are secure enough to push pride aside and acknowledge that they are making several romantic and emotional mistakes in their relationships. We understand that we often ruffle the feathers of our male victims.

I am personally making an exception in this case because, quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing the complaints of spineless men who can't keep women longer than an Avis rental car. It irritates me when I have to read these male impersonators whimper and whine about what assorted women "are or aren't" doing in a relationship. These off brand, jelly fish characters don't know how to really please their women, they don't take the time to truly learn the details of what's going on in the emotional or mental lives of their wives, instead, they sit back like cartoon figures and gossip about all the things their wife should do to make it "easy" for them. We rarely offer these dudes advice, for they don't need relationship tips, they need skirts.

So for all the dudes reading this now, here is the real deal---uncut and unfiltered: sit down, shut up, and listen to men with backbones who know what they are talking about.

@TAU

Out the gate, one portion of your comment reveals that you have no clue. You said, "Any cat with a modicum of game can tell a female what she wants to hear and come up on another man's chick." That "sounds good, but only to clueless folks who get caught up in surface arguments. Take a look at number 2 on the list again. Are you trying to tell us that a complaining, halfway romantically impotent male who can't seduce his own woman for sex can somehow easily make a "come up" on another man's chick? Get that Betty Crocker crap out of here. If you don't have the skill and resources and dedication to seduce your own woman without whining and thinking to yourself that you need sexual "cheat sheet," then there is a very good chance that your success rate with someone's else's female will be very low.

The point here, however harsh, is this: The men who "think" this way are lames, bamas, and they actually get what they deserve when their females creep out on them in the middle of the afternoon when she's supposed to be at work.

We are going to assume two things--because we couldn't find other posts by you or a website that would give us a better idea of where you are coming from. First, we are assuming you are in a committed relationship. Second, we are assuming you disagree with our stance that complaining solves nothing in a relationship and that men have to take the time to deal with the root problems and truly discover what's going on with his wife or girlfriend.

We believe that throwing third grade temper tantrums because you aren't getting sex when you want it is the behavior of clowns. The selfish and arrogant men who think this way belong in a circus, not a relationship.

We argue that one of the many ways to secure your committed relationship is to take the time to truly learn your wife, truly invest the energy to see where she is coming from and what's happening in her life and her world. We believe, based on all the evidence we have seen, that there is usually a reason behind her waning sexual appetite. Complaining like starving puppies in an alleyway doesn't fix the problem--it just makes your ego feel better when homeboys pat you on the back and say "that's fucked up." Instead, we tell you and others to stop complaining and start digging through the situation so you can get to the root cause of the problem.

Listen to her. There is a good chance she is going through something that, because you are looking at the situation from the head of your penis, you may have been missing out on. Explore her. Look at the world through her perspective, figure out if there are exterior forces that are affecting her self-esteem or how desirable she feels. And if it is, create new ways of showing her how beautiful and sexy she is, even if that means temporarily focusing more on her needs instead of your own (Ultimately, the goal is balance, but sometimes circumstances require that you swing the pendulum a bit more one way or the other to counteract a problem).

Learn her. Make sure you know your woman, make sure you pay attention to her growth and development over the years, make certain you stay in tune with what she wants and needs emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and sexually.

But more than anything, stop complaining like horny teenagers at a blow-out football game because you're not getting laid as often as you'd like, and start back seducing your wife or girlfriend. Some men, though they are sometimes three times older than us, have the mentality of cats in middle school. Ya'll sound like those bitter, social rejects who walk around with a grudge because women don't pay attention to you. Put on some pants. Stop whining and step your seduction game up. There are ways to have your wife craving sex more than you do. Complaining to your homeboys that "she won't give me blow jobs anymore" won't get you to that point.

Don't believe the backwards advice of your clueless homeboys. Just because you have a hard on, your romantic partner isn't supposed to spread her legs. If you are not getting sex as often as you like or need, begging her like some gutless poodle with your tail between your legs won't solve your problem.

Instead, start seducing her more often. Reintroduce passion and adventure and spontaneity into your sexual relationship. Half the time those boring sex moves you mastered in high school or college are worn out and stale after a few years. You've probably become sexually predictable. Even the best movie in the world gets old after a while if you are forced to watch the same thing over and over again. Keep learning and improving your sex game. Step outside the box. Continue to learn new and interesting ways to stroke her sexual imagination.

We deal with solutions at our site. We are not interested in the lame "[it can be] reversed and applied to women" excuse that you wrote about. (You are a man, act like it. You are the head of your household, set up the stage. Stop acting like the goofy, star struck groupie at the movie set of your relationship. Be the director of your relationship. Be the producer. Grow some balls. Worrying about "women do it too" is no more productive or manly than four year olds fussing in the backseat over who hit who first.) If you want a pat on the back for ignoring the needs of your woman, go to your homeboys. Don't expect sympathy from us, because dudes like you are the reason why we never have a shortage of customers.

But here is a practical step you (and any guy experiencing this problem) can take right now that will begin the process of re-engaging your wife or girlfriend sexually: For the next three weeks, stop having sex with her completely. You shouldn't have oral sex or actual intercourse until the three weeks are up. Instead, you have to find other, more creative ways to bring her to multiple orgasms. You have to spend the next three weeks relearning your wife's body, discovering vulnerable spots you never knew existed before because you were so focused on sex. Become a master at pleasing her and satisfying her without actual sex.

This will require you to stimulate all five of her senses--the sense of taste, smell, touch, sight, and hearing. Over the next three weeks, learn how to seduce her using each of these five senses, individually. We promise you, once you have done this thoroughly, by the end of the three weeks, your wife will be begging for the dick. You won't have to sit around the barbershop anymore and complain about your woman not "giving it up." She will be calling you, wanting you to speed up that haircut so she can get some more. (This is one solution--there are countless others that we will eventually share on our site. So stop whining like some annoying kitten on the front porch. You now have an answer.)

Don't let your pride get in the way of the truth of our words. I know we come off harsh sometimes, but I assure you that it's not personal. When our most murderous homeboy came to us, frustrated, because his girl was "tripping," we were just as blunt with him as we are with you. We asked him what the problem was. His response: "I don't know. She been tripping all day. I guess she's on her period or something. Just going off over everything." I looked at dude like he was insane and responded, "You mean to tell me that you've been living with her for almost five years and you don't know when she's has her menstrual cycle? You don't keep up with that?"

Some things are mistakes, no matter who makes them.

We are raw. We tell it like it is, no matter who gets offended. Grown men complaining about not getting sex from their wives or girlfriends are pathetic. Over half the times, it's the guy's fault, no matter how hard a pill that may be to swallow. If you are playing your seduction cards right, waning sex is the last thing you have to worry about in your relationship. A quick look at our site will show you that we go after the shallow expectations of females just as hard. We are not here to get internet fans. We are here to let folks finally get a real, unfiltered perspective that isn't biased by fear---half the crew over here are genuinely dangerous, so that gives us all the freedom to speak the truth without worrying about folks catching feelings.

You are a grown man. We are not going to try and somehow argue with you over the need to fulfill and satisfy your wife or girlfriend. That's entirely up to you, and we have no invested interest, one way or the other. We couldn't care less. This post is mostly for all those other dudes who may be reading this who see your garbage response and now think it's okay to keep complaining about romantic problems instead of fixing them.

It's time women and men started listening to folks who actually know what they are talking about. And the truth bites: If you don't pay attention to the details of your relationship, if you don't invest time to truly learn your significant other, if you spend more time complaining about problems instead of fixing them, then there are people out here who are experts at picking up the slack, and doing all the things you fail to do in your relationship. Don't cry when it happens to you--for you have been warned.

@RichBrand,

I actually didn't want to give a detailed response, like above, to you. After checking out your site and reading through your past post, (from Men Can't Sit Still, to Does Love Have a Clock, to Stay in your Lane: The Original (11/2/2004),) it became so obvious that you have no clue what you're talking about when it comes to relationships that I felt it would be beneath us to give you a thorough response. Why give out direction to someone who is so obviously lost, but writes blog posts like he's an expert when it comes to securing romantic relationships? Chances are you won't listen, no matter how many jewels we share with you. Truth is, you are they type dudes who females go astray, because you are so focused on you that you forget her. But many of my homies over here, having connections in D.C., felt pity on you and wanted us to give you an honest assessment as well. They won. So here is the detailed solution to your problems as well.

Many of us over here know DC very well, mostly for less than stand-up reasons. And based on our knowledge of the many different types of women there, it's obvious to us--after reading and analyzing your posts---why you are currently single. The excuse you use on your blog, "single by choice" is merely something folks say in public to keep from having to admit the truth: that they don't know what they are doing. (If being single was truly by choice, then so many of your posts wouldn't have the undercurrent of "looking for a woman but still can't find her" thread.) The whole "by choice" thing is usually a cop out. Not always, but usually. It's what people say to keep from looking deep into the mirror and truly analyzing what they are doing wrong romantically and emotionally. It's better for the ego if guys tell everyone that they actually WANT to be single. But here's the real talk: If you are not "playing the field" or "suffering from a heartbreak" or "hustling for your career" or "on a religious or spiritual enlightenment quest" or a virgin, then you don't want to be single. That's just a lie you tell yourself and others to mask the real issues you have.

Your posts reveal that you are still way too shallow and romantically naive to nurture a healthy relationship right now, (Stay In Your Lane was so backwards and wrong, you should certainly stop trying to give out relationship advice until you gain more experience.) Instead, work on self improvement and determining ways to truly find your core. You are actually very talented musically, but it would be a waste of your gifts to allow ego to shape your romantic decisions.

Ask yourself this--could the woman I eventually want to marry still love me if I happened to get in a car accident and lose my ability to walk? If the answer is no, move on. If the answer is yes, then toss aside the shallow and superficial things that you currently have in place that prevents you from noticing the value and "attractiveness" of countless women around you. Stop worrying about trying to impress brainless dames with superficial observations, and concentrate instead on finding your own unique voice. Once you do this, you won't have to make boneheaded posts about women "not falling into a man's lap." You will see a whole new romantic world in front of you with infinite possibilities once you take off the blinders that your posts reveal that you currently have on.

Try not to be bothered by our approach and our tone, as we are still uncultivated, and still haven't mastered the art of sugar coating reality for dudes. (We are very familiar with your DC jargon/insults, from "Joe" to "lunchin" but that has no bearing on the reality that men need to learn to truly explore their wives so we won't respond to that.) Instead, focus on our message. And learn from it. When you finally get a significant other, pay attention to her, take note of the details, focus on the root problems instead of just symptoms of those problems, and don't whine and complain when she isn't giving you sex. Instead, follow the advice we gave Tau and seduce her...over and over and over again, in many different, spontaneous ways. Don't think that you can stop appreciating the true value of your girlfriend or wife just because you are now in a committed relationship. Romance doesn't stop once the ring goes on, in many cases, it should increase.

This is the solution for you--based on the information we were able to gather from your writings.

You can take heed to it or not, that's up to you. You're a grown man. All we can do is tell you that, when we were teenagers and an O.G. called us "stupid" and "fools" and "suckas" for using our bare hands to load bullets, we didn't let our pride or ego get in the way of the truth, no matter how harsh his words sounded. We listened to him. And once we saw how true his words were, we used gloves from that day forward, never letting our finger prints get on shells. We could've got pissed off and outraged at the way he came at us and refused to listen to the knowledge being shared. But we didn't. We listened and we learned.

This is the choice you have now.

As for us stooping so low to "cop" someone else's wife or girlfriend, don't get it twisted. Guys like "Denmark" are not interested in taking her at all, in fact, they want you to KEEP her. They even go out their way to give her advice on how to keep your relationship above water. This is why you shouldn't be giving out romantic advice. You are arguing that "if you copped her, that means she can be taken from you just as fast," but that only shows how much you don't know about the level of seduction we are pointing out.

Homie, the stuff we are talking about has nothing at all with her "jumping ship." The testimonials we have provided are from guys who go out their way to make sure she actually STAYS with you. We don't want your girl or any man's wife as our own. We want something else, something entirely different. This post and our site will show you how to start defending against it, if you listen to it. But the fact that you think we want your girl merely shows how clueless you are to the higher levels of game that we expose at our site.

Pause.

You're thinking checkers when I'm trying to explain chess to you. Totally different game.

We may be horrible human beings and disgusting bastards or even worse. You won't ever hear us attempting to defend what we do, no matter what names we are called. We are simply giving you pointers on how to start securing your relationship instead of whining and complaining. We may be the "lowest of low" but the reality is this: we exist. And we exist in all shapes and forms. And if you don't secure your relationship, just knock on wood if you never LEARN of our intrusion into your relationship--because, though so many men will adamantly hold up their ego and shout to the world, "I've never been cheated on!!!" we merely laugh to ourselves at this because, truth is, they usually just never found out. There's a very big difference between these two realities.)

Sincerely,
NightShade

(P.S. sorry for hogging your comment box, CocoaDiva, but at some point folks need to hear from men who actually know what they are talking about instead of the guesswork and myths and falsehoods dished out by backseat drivers who wouldn't know what to do with women if they came with instructions. These guys have theories and gossip and hypothetical answers. That's why their advice and observations are so lacking, filled with complaints instead of real solutions. We gave detailed solutions to each commenter's problems--people who can't do that shouldn't be giving out advice or opinions on relationships.)

A little defensive there, huh RichBrand? I can't say I totally agree with old dude, but motivation aside, it is nice to see a different perspective. Granted it is two sides of the same stereotypical sexist coin (that women are irrational balls of emotion and men should either try to suppress that fact, or exploit it) But the Critic is basically trying to give an instruction manual to *stop* men like himself from getting your girl by pointing out reasons she might come to him in the first place.

(for the record, I cannot believe girlfrends, or even boyfriends, can be "copped" "stolen" or otherwise "taken" unless they are actually kidnapped and brainwashed into leaving you. Otherwise they just decided to run out on your ass)

Have to agree with Tau on this one. Black Critic sounds like the Joe of blogging, where he's that dude waiting in the cut for a chick's dude to mess up just so he can swoop in and do "All the Things Your Man won't Do". Given the ratio, no NIGGA, let alone a good man, should have to stoop so low to copping another man's chick. After all, if you copped her, that means she can be taken from you just as fast.
There's a difference between telling women what they want to hear, and telling them the truth. Not saying Critic was inaccurate with his content, but giving away his motive at the jump is what killed his credibility for anything he says afterwards.

Did Critic delete his reponses? I don't see them.....

I'm calling bullshit on Black Critic’s refutation. He says nothing to 'dispute' what men actually think. He's pandering to women and giving reasons 'why' men shouldn't think a certain way. Two different things. Everything he said could be reversed and applied to women, but it wouldn’t change what women actually think. Apples and Oranges.

Any cat with a modicum of game can tell a female what she wants to hear and come up on another man's chick.

As a man, I have to agree with Critic.
At 29, I know the signs , had the lessons, been down that road. And I keep making the same mistake approaching emotional with logical.
Unfortunately, the only time a guy breaks from logical to emotional is when she leaves and we want her back.

Applause for the Black Critic!

I agree, I think men need to realize that sometimes relationships take an emotional approach. Both people in a relationship need to learn to find that correct balance of emotion and logic so everyone is heard and gets their point across.

The real question is are guys like The Black Critic only telling women what they want to hear or do they really have an interest in the woman herself and have an interest in dating her?