Jumpoff v. Wifey/Husband Material

By CocoaDiva on Feb 26, 2009 with Comments

Jumpoff is defined as -a promiscuous female or a maintenance man. They are available anytime & anyplace for anytype of sexual encounter. Someone you want to have sex with just to tell your boys/girls all about it, but you don’t want a relationship with ala Kim Kardashian.

Although jumpoffery is classically defined by men in regards to a woman’s actions, men don’t get it twisted, men are also jumpoffs too.

Wifey/Hubby -The sexiest, most successful, and most respected person. He/She is loved, needed and wanted by her their partner…they are thought to be irreplaceable.

Now that we have let you become familiar with the terminology, situation, there are a few true questions.

1. How do you know whether your boo considers you to be wifey/hubby material or if you are you a jumpoff?

2. If you are a jumpoff can you turn your situation into a relationship?

A jumpoff is a jumpoff for a reason – Every person has their definition of what they are looking for in a mate. The jumpoff, does not fit into that mold for some reason. When you turn someone into your personal sex buddy there generally is some character flaw or situation you have found and you can’t /won’t turn the situation into anything remotely serious. For example, they hate sports, are too short/tall, they have too many commitments, are too busy, she had no idea who Barack was until November 4th, they are currently involved in a relationship etc, etc.

To put it plain and simple, you aren’t “lovers” or “friends with benefits”—it’s all about satiating your physical needs, then going your separate ways. No one is about satisfying your emotional needs, or helping you grow as a person, it is straight sex. Basically, the person considers you a sexual object, and even if you sleep with them until the end of time, they will never see you as more. It is all about how they see you.

I admit, we women have problems with the straight sex arrangements. We tend to read more into situations and dream about booed up days in post-coital bliss. Also problematic, is that people don’t know how to keep sex, just that, sex. They start blending relationship lines and things start looking quasi relationshipy—–not a good look, because the person still doesn’t see you as relationship material.

Set Parameters- Again I say. Ask where your situation is going and lay out expectations. Gents if you just want late night butcheeks say it. Ladies, if you want a maintenance man, state that and set up weekly service. All in all, keep it short sweet and to the point. No dinners, no movies, no chit chat on the phone. Again, people say what they mean. If sex is all that is on the menu, nothing you do can change the arrangement. There is no special of the day, no sides, no dessert. Just straight sex as the main course.

p.s.. DUDES – don’t make a woman of quality or someone you may have interest in your jumpoff -you might end up finding that one crazy chick who wiles the hell out. Please remember a jumpoff is generally not relationship material. So, if you think you could see her long term, don’t treat her like your sex buddy.

Although I don’t agree with the concept of a jumpoff or a person one uses just for sex or to get your rocks off, I am told there are benefits to said arrangement. As a jump off, you get to skip all the fussy relationship issues like when to call, remembering important holidays, birthdays and anniversaries and you skip out on forming any emotinal attachments to your sex buddy. Some would call it a stress-free work environment. Hey, if that is where you are in life….do you.

Know Your Role – If there is any confusion about what you are ladies and gents reflect on your activities. Do you meet late at night? Are there ever any plans set up for you? Do you ever meet outside of some-one’s home? Have you met any family or friends? Have you been involved in any important life events? Are you taken on real dates? Are you listed by your real name in their phone? If not, chances are you are in jumpoff/maintenance man land.

A few of my colleages believe you can only turn a jumpoff into marriage potential in extreme situations. I mean you have heard of Usher and Tameka Foster right? There has to be some extreme attraction between the parties. One day you wake up after using up all the chocolate syrup and realize that you have feelings for your jumpoff and can see something happening with them. Realize that this is exception, not rule. Don’t start dreaming of happily ever afters.

Tips To Wrap Up

Don’t form an emotional attachment

Ask where this is going

Look for signs that you are in Jumpoff Land

Know what you want in life and how to it without losing yourself in the process

So, Ladies and Gents, don’t expect after sluttin and ho’in it up that you will get the Chedda bisquits. Chances are you are just fill in booty. If you only want sex…cool be the best jumpoff ever. However, if you want a relationship, don’t even go down that road to get your feelings hurt. Keep it in your pants.

What is your definition of a jumpoff?

Do you think you turn a jump off into marrige material?

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