I'm not going to challenge your generalisation about men under 30, despite agressively disagreeing with it, because although you have clearly made this generalisation based on your own limited experience, my heavy disagreement is also only based on my own limited experience.

Secondly, you are already applying financial “tick-boxes” to a relationship which is supposed to be based on interaction, trust, respect and companionship. Although as creatures we may not always have the emotional articulation to show it, most of us men DO want a fulfilling, long-term relationship based on each person loving the other because of their merits. Most men, if they got an inkling that their potential life partner required them to have a “comfortable income” (as you put it) as part of “matching up”, would not feel that this person was genuinely interested in them as someone to spend the years side-by-side with. Personally I don't care if my partner has two pennies to rub together – I love her because of her unique personality, our deep connection, and the fact that she is my absolute best friend on the world.

In response to your point about holding sex over relationship depth – here you are writing off men again as a statistic. Maybe you need to try and understand us a little better – we are emotional creatures, we just articulate ourselves differently and expect to be understood and respected by our partners, just as you do. Would you be happy for a man to make a careless generalisation such as, “Why do women always get fat after they get married? Don't they realise they need to stay good looking to keep their man?” ? No, I am sure you would not. Therefore taking such a patronising stance against men is not likely to endear you to a potential long-term partner.

Sadly I think that your post is consistent with modern ideas on relationships, where more and more people work out “what they want” and then set about stamping that onto other people. In the process they fail to see that point of spending your life and your experiences with another human being is simply that – spending your life and your experiences with another human being. Not finding an accessory that “completes you”, meets your requirements or patches up your insecurities.

That's a sports car.

my closest friends always say “if you want to get married find an older man” as though it sort of goes without saying that men under 30 are completely useless and men over 30 are only slightly less useless.

However, I can't understand the slower rate of marriage in the black community. I think that in other ethnicities, children are raised to understand the joys of marriage and that running the streets outside of your 20's is not a good look.

I think that black children are raised with a “get your money right and do you” attitude that prevents us from settling down until we feel we have achieved both personal and financial goals. The question I have is this….what is wrong with building an empire together. Sometimes I wonder if black women are disadvantaged to this regard. We wait for our men to be ready at the sake of fertitlity….which also slows down the birth rate in our communities. How much money is enough money to be prepared to have a family?

Also, we are in the internet age. Is the website of a woman running a reality type show evidence of the desparation on the part of black women to find a mate to settle down with…..I hope not.

Second – the concept of financial stability is a double edge sword. I don't expect a dude to be a gazillionaire; however, I want him to be comfortable. I am comfortable – so I don't understand why this is so difficult for me. A double income never hurt anybody.

Third – I TRULY don't understand why men hold sex paramount to relationship depth. Today I saw two kids run to their father in complete utter joy. “DADDY, DADDY!!!!” I can’t even begin to imagine the fulfilment that he felt when two little people that he helped create ran to him in complete adoration and joy.

Momentarily I thought – how many of these rag-a-muffins are out there sexing a random chick that they don’t care about precisely at the same time when this man is greeted by two little people that think he is the BEST person in the world? I don’t understand why people would delay this type of joy for random pointless sexual encounters.