Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

I doubt very seriously that many adult professional women are really checkin for the Young Jeezy lookin dudes. If so, there wouldn't be so many of them screaming about not being able to get a man. There is no shortage of thugs in the world.

not at all, i do not want/ like thugs. im a quiet mild temperant person and i like rational, th oughtful, intelligent and quirky men, and needless to say, most black american men are not into me.

there are two kinds of women those whos brains have some kind of activity going on and know how to seperate triggerd sexual atraction from real masculinity and those who cant seperate these two things ...So they wil fal for any boy who learned how to hide his imaturity...Thugs are realy just boys,they think like boys now the problem with the square men is they get to emotional about things so they kind of like ...FEMALES...So the misses chooeses the one that is closesd to the man ..The boy wich is the thug !Real men are rare so are real females!It takes an imature individual to love another imature individual ...Its a jungle out there and thats just nature Exclusivity is meant to remain exclusive ......(excuse my writing didnt i quit school when i whas 15)

Thanks for dumbing down so that everyone could easily understand your complex explaination.... :-D I know you may not be accustomed to communicating with non-exclusives like ourselves...but thanks for shedding the light...LOL

Claudette Jameson

I have also dated the good guys. Was in school, had his own car, had a job,he was doing his thing, but that was just too much for me. I was honestly intimidated by him.

And that raises a question. Are females intimidated by guys who are not thugs? Who they say "appear to have a stick up their ass". Do they feel like they are not good enough to compare to a mans accomplishments?

I think having both traits is a cool thing for most women..

I've been with all types of guys and I've came to the conclusion that I like my guys half and half, and I really believe those are the best kind. I have dated the real thug dudes. The gang related thug guys,and I just didn't feel comfortable with him. We weren't on the same level. I was moving up and he was too busy with staying where he's at and running his hood. Plus he cheated on me.

I have also dated the good guys. Was in school, had his own car, had a job,he was doing his thing, but that was just too much for me. I was honestly intimidated by him. He was a really sweet guy and was devoted to me, but it was just too much of a good thing and I couldn't handle that.

The guy I'm with now is a little bit of both. He's thug, but he has a job and he's respectful, and he's trying to better his life.Like the good guy he is really sweet and respectful, and that makes being around him addicting. He's the perfect guy.

But to be honest, if I had a good guy and a thug guy standing in front of me side-by-side, and I had to choose, I would choose the thug. Just because they are usually cuter and I just feel safe around them.

I am ignoring the pink elephant in the room....tiptoeing out the back door, walking sideways.

Am I the only one questioning whether Smartenup didn't just make up this SoSensual24 character? I mean, I haven't seen dickriding like that since Janet Jacme got out of porn. Either that, or you got a groupie, bruh. Enjoy.

I believe part of your reply is confused "checking me and putting me in my place" was not and will never be a phrase used by me. I don't date thugs...I merely made case for why "some" women find " "thugs" appealing. However, I do know males on ALL levels...and just as many black men feel it is a sad state of affairs with a lot of sisters, I feel the same about my brothers. And the biggest complaint is with the condescending attitude of the "educated" non-thug brothers. The majority of the men I date/have dated grew up with their fathers in the house and their attitudes toward women are the worst...not meant for debate, merely expressing my opinion based on my experiences.....

Every woman gets a little excited by the bad boy factor. It helps to keep things interesting in and out of bd. i don't think most women want a thug. maybe girls but not women. We want brothers that bring morw to the table than a bd attitude and a saggy pair of jeans.

Wow this has been quite the debate which Ive read in on carefully before choosing sides & all n all I gotta say Smartenup killed that shit his arguments were valid, well written, & inarguable. Great job Smartenup for leaving the sort of commentary that is sure to leave at least the sensible portion of the black community in thought of what traits we associate with, as well as pass down to our young men in regards to the fulfillment of manhood. Oh yea & your first comment was really funny too, ever thought of getting into comedy?

Smartenup:

The fact that you're casting your lot with a guy that got rejected, and crying about "so called educated black women" and how cofusing they are speaks volumes about your own communication skills. As far as your interpretation of my political analogy, I wouldn't much expect someone of your ilk to understand. What I'm saying is I go for the "take me as I am" school rather than the "Oh, let me mold myself to try to be what you want" school that you went graduated with honors from. Both me and my girl are quite pround of her butt. And unlike you, We don't let the prospect of negative attention keep us hiding under a rock in case some uncouth person acts inappropriately. Having been to the highest of the highbrow and the lowest of the low, trust me, intoxicated dudes will try women regardless of socioeconomic status. I've seen some of the most outlandish shit at establishments of "elegance and class." So you keep on THINKING about how you're gonna let some dude punk you in front of your woman. My girl and I will be kicking it and having fun in the club, unconcerned about getting tried. Your obsession with making everything "thuggish" is kinda funny. Seems like it's a whole generation of educated black dudes that are so scared of confrontation, they piss their pants at the thought of even being assertive. So y'all try to make yourselves feel better by trying to marginalize anything Alpha male-ish as thuggery. I mean, I'm here to help. If you want to learn how to change a tire, I'll help you out.

So Jack... Let's examine.

It's corny to ask a girl "what type of guy she likes?"
See this question serves two purposes: one- To get the girl talking (this is a conversation) and two- (you're right) To get an understanding of the girl and see if ya'll are compatible. This waste nobody's time and it shows the girl that your are interested in her thoughts.

Or we can do what you said: "campaigning with some balls.... candidates she usually votes for, he’d be pitching the strength of his own platform" (What the hell are you saying???) I guess you're saying that- you will not conversate with her, but you will just run down your list of qualifications and hope she likes you (So basically the "Hey Look at Me" routine) Very Classy there Buddy - WTF -This is a poor platform JACK because you give the girl all the power to either reject or accept you without you getting any information from her. You basically lost your chance to see what she likes, and to see if you two have anything in common. You failed to engage your audience. You change the conversation from "Yes WE Can" to "B***h just listen to what I got to say". Jack you're going to lose a lot of votes that way.

"Jack Roqoff, you're no Jack Kennedy" - (my polysci graduates are laughing at you right now)

And on a final note, (...I wonder how your girl feels about you saying she got a "big ol' ass" - SMH) A real man would resort to violence only as the last option, especially when he's with someone he loves. A real man would have used prudent judgement by (a) Not taking his girl to an "ass grabbing club" (in your case a "big ol' ass grabbing club) but one of elegance and class or (to use your term) "check" her before she walked out the house on her "tight ass" outfit. A real man will try to keep his love ones out of harms way by THINKING FIRST.

And yes, "man" is a key element in being a gentleman. So please put away your childish acts like "campaigning with some balls", calling out your girl's ass, and slapping the shit out of everyone in the club. Use common sense like a real man and put away these childish "Thug" antics.

So in the end it's very obvious, "You don't know JACK $%&# !!!"

Peace Smartenup.
And to Nia, I really appreciate your honest opinions. My response is in no way an attack on you as a person. For all I know, you could be a really great person.

Smartenup:

First: You got owned by Nia in this little war of words y'all developed.

Second: "and most importantly he asks her “what does she look for in a guy?” See this is the most important part in COMMUNICATION"

That might be the most sucka-ass statement I've ever heard. In fact your whole comment basically read as a treatise in defense of sucka-ass dudes. That's not communication, that's a corny ass line, and dude got what he deserved for it. Basically, he went fishing for her to describe a dude with his characteristics and then threw a hissy fit when she didn't. If he was campaigning with some balls, he wouldn't be worried about what kind of candidates she usually votes for, he'd be pitching the strength of his own platform. On a final note, if someone grabbed my girl's big ol' ass, I wouldn't hesitate to slap the shit out of them in the club. And then check her for wearing that tight ass dress. We may be gentlemen, but we need not forget the key in that word is the men part.

Nia,

See your last sentence I agree with - Being sociable, educated, and confident are traits and characteristics that everyone wants in a mate be it male or female. See where I disagree with you and the commenters is the attribution of these traits to a "Thug". A Thug is a hoodlum by definition. A "thug" is a criminal, delinquent, gangster, murderer, rioter, and an overly violent person in nature.
See what confuses a lot of brothers is when black girls find "thug" traits as desirable, sexy even.
See Nia, I can tell by your writing that you are a good communicator - maybe more so than I am- and that's the key to long lasting relationships. COMMUNICATION. See in the above article the Brother went over and started the conversation with the black woman - So he's attempting to be sociable, and he's confident enough to approach her. I'm not so sure about buying the drink part but maybe he's trying to be nice. Then he shares with her information about himself - he works for the government- and most importantly he asks her "what does she look for in a guy?" See this is the most important part in COMMUNICATION - attempting to understand the person in which you are having a conversation with. See in long term relationships you are constantly trying to understand your mate. You are constantly sharing with your mate. Notice I said sharing and not taking and looking at it for only your benefit.
So I said all that to say this... In your comments like "defending your honor", other comments like "checking me and putting me in my place"... are all traits that shows your man's "AGGRESSIVE AND VIOLENT" characteristics. Let's be real, how many times is a man going to have to exhibit these traits - very rarely (unless ya'll club all time and live in the middle of the hood.) And when it does rarely happen trust me 99% of the men (regardless of race) would sacrifice their body to protect a loved one. BUT THE ONE TRAIT THAT NO BLACK WOMAN ON THIS PAGE COMMENTED ON WAS COMMUNICATION. THE MAIN INGREDIENT IN A LASTING RELATIONSHIP. See what you Nia and other black women fail to realize is that young black men without a father in the their home and a black mother who has the same fucked up mentality as you, are teaching their sons that the "Thug trait" is the eminent trait that a male should bring to a relationship. YA'LL ARE NOT TEACHING YOUR SONS DIRECTLY BUT INDIRECTLY BY SAYING "THUGS ARE SEXY", "THUGS KNOW HOW TO HANDLE ME", "THUGS KNOW HOW TO PUT IT DOWN". You see that is destroying young men from building lasting relationships, because they are not developing the right trait - COMMUNICATION.
Now you and your daughter are 25 plus and wondering where the honest, sharing, available men are. There is a direct correlation to the rising incarceration rate, the high divorce rate, and single parent households to the above statements. These statements are destroying black america. Black women you are putting the wrong things first when it comes to a relationship.
And see here's the great thing about this article. The man was educated enough and developed enough that he asked the right questions to figure out that this woman was not for him. He found out that even though she was working on her Masters Degree (which most guys would have thought they've hit the jackpot) she was not capable of sustaining a long lasting relationship because of her mentality.

So SMARTENUP BLACK WOMEN

P.S. Nia...using the threat about dating other races is played out. It's 2008 and you can date whoever you like.

I go for nerds who know how to check me, as well as others, when needed. Whatever you want to label this man...go for it.

I do not go for men with criminal records or who are jobless, homeless, etc.

A good FICO score and a wall of degrees is the new sexy for me. Saggy pants are ghei.

The end.

Even Montell Jordan and his soft sangin behind just called himself a thug...people are truly confusing the word.

PS for the record, when I am talking about a thug, I don't mean the Jadakiss, Lil Wayne kind of character. I mean a man from the streets but not of the streets. A social chameleon...Educated, poised and full of "swagger".

Then that isnt a Thug...

Smartenup....

Wow.."so called educated" women...Interesting...The reality is that "so-called" educated, professional brothers are generally so damn condescending, self righteous, arrogant and full of themselves that their attitude coupled with their lack of sensitivity almost makes it more appealing for a "so called educated" woman to take her chances with a thug.

The attitude my supposed "upper echelon" black brothers exhibits continually causes me to rethink my stance on dating outside of my race.

"a punk ass drink" is a new "flava", only sold at establishments frequented by and can only be offered by my "think they got it together" brothers. Unlike the standard alcholic beverages a few "punk ass drinks" will usually leave you with a bad taste in your mouth, a sense of obligatory conversation, and overwhelming desire to reimburse the purchaser just to have him leave you alone.

protecting her honor (Do you want a man or a Samurai???), Well let me explain so you can remove the animated element from your response. If my man was every in a situation and a woman was disrespectful or out of line, there would never be a question as to my actions, The Secret Ninja in me would appear handle the situation and I return to my normal demeanor.

And for the finale...being equally yoked in a relationship is a beautiful thing. So your entire rant about "(Do you want to date the Welfare System???- Damn I should have taken that government job" just further reiterates the ignorance I have witnessed from my "educated professional brothers". If the man I am in a relationship with normally handles his responsibilities beyond compare and he fell on hard times and was in need of my help to sustain while he refinds his way, I would have pen and check book in hand to help him need be. Doesn't make him less of a man, me better than him or "us" questionable. It wouldn't make him a "welfare" case but someone that I care about that in normal circumstances wouldn't be in this situation. So again the arrogance and condescending attitude about a situation that could easily befall the best of us, renders your compassion non-existent. In most circumstances a thug wouldn't look down on someone in that situation because he is all too aware of the chances it could be him...

Regards,

Nia

First off, Great blog and topic. Secondly, what's hilarious to me are these wild scenarios that "so-called" educated black women are coming up with -

1. "don’t want our man to run faster than us or scream louder than us!! - (How fast do you run the 100meters??? Are you dating Usain Bolt??? If ya'll both screaming how can you tell who is louder???)

2. "I want a man who will stick up for me if someone grabs my ass at the club" (Is your ass that big??? Are you a stripper and need a bouncer??? Maybe you shouldn't go to a club where T.I., Young Jezzy, and Lil Wayne are performing on the same night..)

3. "A man who knows how to flip it up and serve it raw when I need it." - Huhh??? LMAO (Is he making pancakes??? - damn I'm hungry now- I hope he didn't serve it raw to too many girls because he might have something)

4. "What’s wrong with having a man who has a bowtie made out of wifebeater material?" - No comment that was funny

5. "...but sometimes thugs understand the principals of treating a woman like a woman, including buying her a punk ass drink (is that a new flava???), protecting her honor (Do you want a man or a Samurai???), and giving her a helping hand financial assistance when hard times hit" (Do you want to date the Welfare System???- Damn I should have taken that government job.)

6."couldn’t change a tire if you paid them 3 times what AAA was charging' (call me next time I can use that $100 to buy me some new tires on my car)

7. Paraphrasing - "protect me if I'm walking down a dark alley..' (why are you in a dark alley??? Do you live in the ghetto??? Newspapers and cardboard is not a house???)

To all the fellows out there, JUST BE YOU. If these women are into you then they will make you a figment of their imagination (you see how wild their imaginations are). So if you're not a thug and she likes you then she will probably make you up in her mind as a guy that "has a little thug in him". If you are a "true blue thug" (I don't know what the hell that means ask Toni), then she will rationalize in her mind that "he's an intelligent thug" - (women please stop using this one). SO JUST BE YOU FELLOWS. Because no human or animal is just one way. If pushed they will react. If loved they will react. Some people have more extreme limits than others but we all will react to something.

Peace
Smartenup

6."couldn’t change a tire if you paid them 3 times what AAA was charging' (call me next time I can use that $100 to buy me some new tires on my car)

The sad thing is, she wants a mechanic who can change tires but not a man who could help her with a government grant and subsides to get her dream home. The typical thinking of our race. It's sad actually.

Your car want start so you use the broke mind thinking. Your "Bad Boy, Thug" will play around under the hood trying his hardest to fix your car. Then he will call his broke friends who are good to you because they are thugs/bad boys and they will bring beer and then you have a group of broke minded thugs/bad boys who still won't fix it. Eventually you'll call AAA and get the work done. The bowtie cat would have said, look I need to go to a meeting, meet up with some people, let's go to a resteraunt, let's go out of town what ever and let AAA take care of that car, we have 2 others so don't worry.

But instead of that setting, you want the one you mentioned in the above post. It's not the bowtie guy isn't good enough for you, you're not good enough for the bowtie guy. Sorry.

I'm gonna do my best to answer these questions...fairly and honestly

1. Men, does this messs really happen on a regular basis? Without a doubt yes, of course this doesn't apply to all women or I'd be single right now...however, I would say that a lot of the women I've dealt with have said something very similar to what "Keith" mentioned. The problem is that when a woman says that, then to us we paint the picture of something WE aren't. If I'm in the club/social gathering/mixer etc and have on collared shirt/slacks ensemble and chick gives me a vibe that i'm 'too soft' then my perception is she want a rappin/hood/talkin out the side of my neck type dude. Thus the reason that you really can't get to know anyone in the club. Its just not in your best interest. Its too loud, tons of people, different motives, and so forth.

#2. My argument for this is the same argument that makes survival of man what it is. Its all about convenience. If a woman is in the club looking fellatious and initiating the conversation, then yes, we might step and prepare to wear it out. Other times not so much. Most men are either just living it up or actively looking for "the one." But convenience and shift that at a moment's notice. I can be looking for "the one" then a bust down approaches...why should I decline? Again this is the average thought process from the male perspective. Just my thoughts...

-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com

I for one do not want a thug. Any dictionary will tell you a thug is a violent person, especially a crimial. The word denotes a negative connotation. Sure, I want someone who exudes confidence, agression and even a little swagger, but not a true blue thug. My daddy is not a thug. He's an educated black man who can still handle his. Sorry Jadakiss, every woman does not want a thug.

I don't want a thug, what could he give me? What could he teach me? I think i wouldn't even able to have a conversation with him, and bad boys exactly what they are called "boys" with lots of personal issues and this is why they are bad. I like to look up at the man, admire and respect him. I like men who know how to handle their business in any situation, who can take responsibilities for whatever they did, who are not only smart, but wise too and this dosen't come with education and who dosen't give a damn what others think when it comes to either love, fun or expressing himself. Appearance is only important to the point that he keeps his body in shape and clean. Swagger makes a man attractive, not cute face or abs. I fell for guys who my mom called ugly, but their strength, swagger and the way they treated me would change her mind very soon.

This is a female who knows what she wants. I read the other answers who justified wanting a bad "boy" lol. And I was waiting for the answer of a woman. Not from "girls". Thank you so much Masha +5 for your answer.

I think homegirl might have needed a lesson in how to better express herself. I completely understand what she's saying. For some reason I feel like I'm living in the bizarro generation of 'soft men'. Let me define 'soft men'- men who: 1) don't know how to do anything involving manual labor 2) couldn't change a tire if you paid them 3 times what AAA was charging 3)call a repair man ANYTIME ANYTHING at all in the house goes awry 4) spend so much time talking about all of their achievements that they have very little time to focus on much else. No woman wants this type of man... and no woman wants believe that if she's walking in a dark alley (I know this is how horror movies start)with you hand in hand that and ya'll are confronted with trouble that you will knock her down to get away. I feel like I've come across way too many "boys" that fit this mold.

This chick did a horrible job of expressing herself but I can't say that I don't see her point. She wants a grown man...bottom line. She doesn't want the dude that's starting the fights just the one that if left with no other choice won't use her as a shield, lol.

I am a man and I would concur with the statement that LegalDiva has said. There were so many guys at my alma mater that were "edgy" but couldn't do anything that men in the 30s, 40s, 50s & 60s were able to do. I was the only guy in a clique of 6 guys I hung with that had repair skills for my apartment or on my vehicle. Guys aren't soft now, we're just suckers to technology, less has to be done and minority's are huge consumers(physically & mentally) of these products. I tell guys that we need to literally step back in time & get back to how we were, that's why I advise guys to build their own stuff, stop using Facebook (because of it's total USELESSNESS) and buy a map and go camping in an area instead of using GPS. A man needs to know what to do & when to do it while also dressing nice, balancing accounts payable, and taking care of all family. My father always taught me to use my mind & hands to create, mold and make better.

However, when guys do this, you as women need to recognize what is or has happened. Do not complain about the methods, if its done its done. Do not want a "rugged guy" but don't want to go out camping with him or buy a GPS for him. If a man cooks, help him become better & don't belittle what he cooks or that he does it. Make sure to take care of you and me then I will take care of me and you!!

Also, with safety issue, many of you women will need to protect yourself because of the exponential number of problems growing out there. Yes the disrespectful club incident is there, but most attacks or incidents on women happen when they are by themselves or appear to be alone. That is why I advise & train many women in CCW (carrying concealed weapon) tactics. I know that whomever I am with, whether my homeboys or my lady friends, will be safe after my .40-cal Glock opens the perp like a refrigerator.

Women don't want thugs. They want "chivalry". We want a man's man. Too many men have left sisters behind to be the head of household, mother and father to our children and protectors of the black family. Then the minute they get a little money they want to run to women of "other" races. So a lot of sisters were forced to deal with the "thug" element cause that was all that was checking for them. A single struggling woman with a child that fell behind on her rent could always count on a "thug" to help her out. A "thug" has the get out and "hustle" mentality while some brothers in suits reach for anti-depressants at the signs of a financial crisis. So sisters don't want a thug, but sometimes thugs understand the principals of treating a woman like a woman, including buying her a punk ass drink, protecting her honor, and giving her a helping hand financial assistance when hard times hit.

What's wrong with having a man who has a bowtie made out of wifebeater material?

Also, why does wanting a man who can protect you have be an Electra "Daddy Complex" is the fact that all of you men want Claire an Oedipus "Mamma" complex? hmmm....

a man can be a nice guy and still be a man. it's never happened to me. but i dont' approach women with bullet holes and stab wounds, either.

I don't need so much a thug but a man who will be a grown ass man. Yes I want a man who will stick up for me if someone grabs my ass at the club or who defends me if someone disrespects me instead of telling me to "leave it alone..crazy people out here". I want a man who knows what bills are due, what has been paid and when. A man that is willing to take something from my hands, no matter if it is woman's work just to give me a break. A man who knows how to flip it up and serve it raw when I need it. A man I can take to my business meeting one day and to the neighborhood b-ball court the next.

In return, he gets a woman who knows how to be a woman. One he can talk politics, world news, sex and deep secrets to. A woman who shares in the responsibilities of every day life and doesn't think the world "owes" her for all the misdeeds from past relationships. A woman who can make him scream her name over and over and over again...

In a way, I have to agree with the Roq. If you have to buy a woman a drink to get (and maintain) her attention, then you are telling that woman from jump "hey, you don't know me, and I don't have enough game to initiate a conversation with you based off of what you see, so hopefully I can buy your attention for these next 5-10 minutes so that maybe you'll see something in me that will keep it going." Hence why I stick to my policy of buying drinks for women I know. Maybe that makes me arrogant or cheap, but I'll be that if need be.
If a woman doesn't know you, no matter what you buy for her, she still has no incentive to respect you after the fact. That's the woman's decision in the long run. If she's feeling you, she's gonna know that before you even offer the drink because chances are she saw you coming before YOU saw you coming.
OK back to the subject..... to make it clear, everybody isn't for everybody. Some women have Electra complex and visually their dream man as a clone of their father, and if their father was one who was a provider of the household, always made sure her car and her mom's car were taken care of, ran the house budget, and did what he had to do to keep the family out of harm's way, women want to see similar qualities in you. Someone they vibe with on a personal tip, someone who can understand who that woman is as a person, and not every man is going to fit that description even at the 50,00 ft level in the eyes of some women. The more that brothas realize that, the more time and money we'll save, PERIOD.
I can see where RideorDie is coming from when she talks about corny ass dudes with education because a friend of mine was complaining about that to me last night about educated men in LA. Fortunately, that doesn't apply to me. The more education I get, for some reason, the less I give a damn. Plus, there's a difference between a bad boy and a grown ass man, and I would think most women would prefer the latter.

(many) women like the thug because his needs are likely mainly physical and a (educated) women knows how to manipulate that. Get a guy who has his stuff together, no kids, job and a women doesnt know how to compete. Alot of women have issues appealing to both the mental and physical needs/dynamics of a man at the same time. Either a women is going to sex you like crazy or she's really the cool chick you can kick it with and have intellectual dialog. As a educated man with several businesses and having worked all over the world, I have yet to find the women who could do both concurrently. Black women, I'm not hating and do know there are some out there, but be honest... either your attracted to the mans body or his mind... its rarely both...

Simply put.. the thug is simple and easy to please (may even gety a purse and trip out of it) making him easy to maniplate by the overly educated AA female vixen..

Why is he buying some fool woman he doesn't know from Adam a damn drink in the first place? Citibank's laying off 50,000 people, and this fool's out here sponsoring random women? Coulda sponsored an Ethiopian child or some sh*% instead. And then she had the nerve to give him the once over when he offered her something?!?! The hell is going on in the world?

He works for the government. He's financially secure!!! Maybe he does sponsor Ethiopian kids, too. Personally, I sponsor missionaries. Women can be so silly sometimes. The author of the post said, "We just want a little security and knowing that your man can take care of you." Financially speaking, very few types can provide more security than a government employee. It doesn't matter how bad the economy gets, it's almost impossible for him to lose his job. Are you seriously saying you want somebody good at fighting in the club? I have never had a woman get hassled when she was WITH me in a club. Now if she's on her own, she gets whatever she gets. But hey, if the guy needs some pointers, he can sign up at a dojo. Anybody can learn to fight if need be. But character is a lot harder to find.

I admit it. I want a thug around the edges. Something about their swagger gets me all hot and bothered. Stick up their behind men bore the hell out of me. I think the more education you have the less you know how to have fun. I want a man who will stick up for me, not run if someone says some foolishness to me or grabs my ass in the club. What happened to all the real dudes standing up for their women? I will take a thug over a coward in a suit anyday.

I think that a lot of women are out there looking for a guy of whom they can feel comfortable with. If someone jumps out on us we don't want our man to run faster than us or scream louder than us!! We want to know that he can protect us as a man should be able to protect his household. I personally was a good girl attracted to the bad boy. What was I attracted to was it the tough exterior, or was it the unknown that attracted me? I'm unsure but I think that you have just inspired me to think about this further and blog. I will definitely pay homage to POSH Life as you brought the idea to life.

Seriously, I think that a lot of guys get "bad boy" and "thug" confused. A bad boy can have a suit and the 9-5, but that don't mean he won't lay hands on a nig if need be. I doubt very seriously that many adult professional women are really checkin for the Young Jeezy lookin dudes. If so, there wouldn't be so many of them screaming about not being able to get a man. There is no shortage of thugs in the world.

For me, it's a confidence factor. It just so happens that a lot of so-called "bad boys" have confidence, but so do a lot of nice guys. But don't approach me acting all intimidated or too eager. That just reads "corny" to me.