The Perfect Wife, The Clair Huxtable Syndrome

Clair Huxtable

If you were born in the late 70’s to the 80’s, every Thursday night your family was glued to the T.V. watching the Cosby show. The Cosby Show aired from 1984 to 1992 and men and women alike found themselves watching Claire Huxtable, mother and working mom extraordinare.

Claire raised the 5 kids, was chief disciplinarian, made sure everyone was healthy and happy, was not a stay at home mother but was a partner in her law firm, and did all this without the help of a nanny or outsourcing.   Her husband adored her and her children loved and respected her. She was elegant, beautiful, refined, and was fluent in two languages. She cared for Cliff and his health, it was suggested she satisfied her husband sexually, she let him wear the pants, and at the end of the day they both agreed on how to raise their children and run the household.  Heck, she even sang with Stevie Wonder.

Clair was always in a good mood. “She was never seen preoccupied by a case and, except for once, never absent to prepare one. In addition she almost always had time to drop whatever she was doing to become available for Cliff or one of her children who needed help or advice of just plain attention. . . She had everything under control.” *  Clair was never shown worrying about the pressure on attorneys to log a certain amount of billable hours and to meet with clients late into the night. 

Money was no problem for the Huxtables and they tried to teach their children about fiscal responsibility. Clair got along with her mother, father, and siblings.  Clair and Cliff didn’t argue about money, sex, raising their kids, working long hours, vacations, or anything really.

Did the image of Claire Huxtable give men a jaded view of what marriage is really like? Maybe.

It seems that many bougie black men want a Clair Huxtable in their lives, nevermind the fact that she was a fictional T.V. character in a fictional world.  There are even shirts marketed on the net reading “I want a Claire Huxtable.”  They want that total package of a woman who cooks and cleans with a song and a smile. 

Stay at home and take care of the kids…Never!  The bougie black man wants a woman who has an EIN # or a big time job, has a steady income, raises his children, breaks him off a piece when he needs some, gets along with his mother and family, never argues or fights, never has a bad hair day or sleeps with a rag on (how else do you get perfect hair men),  goes to sleep in full make-up and never gets a pimple.  She never walks around in a comfortable t-shirt but heels and a skirt. 

So men, before you start discounting women because they don’t fit the bill or your version of the Clair fantasy, consider this.  How was Clair able to do it all? She had Cliff, the ficitional Super-Dad and husband.

Cliff supported Claire with love, respect, and attention. He doted on his beautiful wife and nothing was too good for her. He backed her decisions, you rarely, if ever, saw them fight. Cliff delivered babies in the middle of the night without a grumble and would come home, or from his home office, to cook some famously secret Huxtable dish.

Bottom line, Cliff was an active and clear participant in his family’s life.  He didn’t believe rasing his children was the resposibilty of Clair alone. He shared in the rearing of his family and helped in their education. Cliff attempted to fix things around the house and wouldn’t call a repairman (even when he should). He encourages Clair to take dance lessons or lose weight to fit into a dress, instead of ignoring her or saying hurtful things when she gains a few pounds.

Cliff loved him some Clair.  He didn’t cheat on her and you didn’t see him oggling other women. Cliff romanced the heck out of Clair.  He helped her when she was stressed and wisked her away and even if he forgot an important birthday or anniversary,  he darn sure made up for it.

So men, until you are Cliff……stop harping on Clair.

* http://www.cercles.com/n8/villez.pdf

Popularity: 31% [?]

Related Posts:

1. He Who Finds a Wife and Modern Dating
2. Talented Black Man Syndrome
3. I Wont Date A Woman Who Can’t Cook
4. Is An Emotional Man A Lame?