It’s a Whole Foods Thing

I despise grocery shopping. Seriously, I can get by on Cap N Crunch Crunch berries and Red Kool-Aid mixed with ginger ale for the rest of my life. However when I do go shopping I like to check out one spot…Whole Foods. As a single man, I must say that you will find the most attractive women at Whole Foods. Shameless plug, I know but I have to call it like I see it. Plus they have free wireless. I digress, sorry. Anyway, Whole Foods is a supermarket with fresh produce, meat and fish counters, canned goods, a bakery, a deli, and wine in many of their stores. Here is the thing about Whole Foods: you either love it or hate it.

As an MBA student I have come up with the following equation to help you with your shopping experience and here it is: Whole Foods = Whole Paycheck.

When I was young my first summer job was working at Krogers. Whole Foods is not a Krogers. It’s better. In fact it’s better than Publix, Giant, etc. Grant it that Whole Foods = Whole Paycheck, I like to call it the Pottery Barn of supermarkets. I mean in some cultures Whole Foods has replaced churches and cathedrals as the most important and relevant buildings in the community. It’s like the United Nations right in the inner city. Okay enough with the CHR monologue.

Whole Foods is a food retailer of “natural” and organic products including produce, seafood, grocery, meat and poultry, bakery, prepared foods and catering, beer, wine, cheese, whole body, floral, pet products, and household products. “What is the difference between organic and natural food?” Many people think that there is no difference between the two and both mean the same. But this is not true. If you compare organic and natural from their definitions, the difference will be clear.

Organic food refers to food items that are produced, manufactured and handled using organic means defined by certifying bodies such as the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) under its Organic Food Products Act. Natural food, on the other hand, generally refers to food items that are not altered chemically or synthesized in any form. These are derived from plants and animals. Thus a natural food item is not necessarily organic and vice versa.

But the important question is – “Why do some people prefer organic food and some people prefer natural food?” This is because some people have the belief that synthesizing a food item results in loss of its nutrients and properties. Hence they demand natural foods. Organic food fans, on the other hand, want their food to be free of chemical fertilizers, pesticides and preservatives.

Besides food, at Whole Foods you are fortunate to witness an outrageously large section of vitamins, supplements, and natural oils. There are natural, handmade soaps which give these stores a unique and uniform smell. It’s the kind of place that makes you feel like you need to change your whole lifestyle — for the better, mostly — just to sync up with it.

Perhaps you doubt these words. Perhaps you are like: Oh please, enough about Whole Foods already, it’s just a ridiculously expensive grocery store that deserves its “Whole Paycheck” nickname for how effortlessly it drains your bank account and feeds your buppie ego and shuts out the poor, just a high concept pseudo-liberal cultural irritant that actively excludes a huge segment of the populace that simply can’t afford its massive markup on hothouse cucumbers and organic muffins and whipped chocolate tofu. Sneer and hiss and moan.

I mean lawd jayzus. Merely skimming the company’s own press releases, reading up on its various foundations, its commitment to transparency in how it does business and the issues it faces as a so-called “do-gooder” company, its current No. 5 ranking in the Forbes list of the 100 best companies to work for, its surprisingly progressive positions on supporting local farmers and promoting sustainability, commitment to community, its overall dedication to minimizing chemicals and additives, well, it’s tough not to sit back and go: Wait, if they can do it, why the can’t this be the way of American business overall?

In CHR words, I don’t care that Whole Foods isn’t for everyone. I don’t care if you think it’s unbearably snooty or subconsciously pretentious or that it caters only to a certain upscale clientele or that you can’t buy giant bags of Doritos and four-gallon drums of Cherry Coke there. Blind cynicism, in this case, is just way too easy.

Curse Whole Foods’ apparently genuine concern for the quality of your entire food experience all you want. The bottom line is fairly irrefutable: We should fall on our all-American gluttonous knees right this minute in a devout collective wish, a giant wail of hope that more corporations follow in Whole Foods’ footsteps.

Whole Foods’ success has forced such stores as Giant, Krogers, and Publix to redesign their stores and soften their brutal lighting and improve the quality of their offerings, as they add organic produce and healthy food aisles and even rethink their business ethos by actually becoming a bit more accountable to their customers. Sweet baby jayzus, how horrible.

Did I mention the women?

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