I’m not Fat, I’m Thick!! : What Men are Saying (Part 1)

By CocoaDiva on Jul 29, 2008 with Comments

”Gimme a sista, can’t resist her, red beans and rice didn’t miss her.”

Ok folks, its time for me to get gangsta and call a few people out. You knew it was coming. I have been talking to a few of my sistas about obtaining a healthy weight. Many of you are interested. But, I have received this response. “Girl, I am not fat, I am thick. Black men love a thick woman.” Ladies….please wake up and smell the grease….you are FAT!! I can understand this debate. I used to be one of those girls who smiled when a dude called me thick. Heck, I even grinned a little and batted my eyes, and picked up another piece of bacon (not turkey bacon mind you). I felt as though if it ain’t broken why fix it.

The truth is I was broken. I went to the doctor a few months back complaining of stress and fatigue. My physician’s first response was you need to lose about 40 pounds so you will feel better. Right now you are putting stress on your heart, joints, muscles, and organs by carrying extra weight. “But, doctor I am just a little overweight I am fine.” Clearly, I was wrong.

I believe that many of the statistics about black women (70% are overweight and 40% are obese) directly correlate to the thick v. fat debate. Because we refuse to accept that we are fat, we are plagued by early deaths and diseases like diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. Heart disease doesn’t differentiate ladies. If you are overweight it will kill you just the same as someone who is obese. The longer you lie to yourself is one year off your life where you could spend time with family, friends, and loved ones.

Women, don’t let the stereotypical discussions regarding the thick sista play you. While women shouldn’t worry about a man’s opinion, the truth of the matter is we do. Your reading this article right now because your are curious. I see you!! The reality is the line between fat v. thick is blurred. However based upon health standards (BMI, calories burned at rest etc), many of you calling yourselves thick are really fat. Since thick is terminology started by men, I asked a few brothers their opinions on the situation.

Andre (name changed) states, “Black women really get thick v. fat confused….sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. Many Black women are in denial and are fat but refuse to see the real deal because they can hide under the cloak of ‘thickness’. No, sweetie, you are fat and we will appreciate you more if you lose some weight.”

Kevin (name changed) states, “Fat depends on height, proportion, and many other factors, there is not one indicator. Check your BMI (Body Mass Index) If it reads overweight, or obese that might be an indicator that you need to hit the gym.!”

Shane (name changed) states, “Thick to me means, no fat rolls, I want my lady toned. Beyonce is thick, Buffy the Body is thick, but each of these women is a Snickers away from being fat.”

William (name changed) states, “I want a little meat on her bones, I don’t like super skinny women. When I say a little meat I want a healthy weight on her. If we are dating, I want her around for awhile so I am concerned about her health.”

Robert (name changed) states, ” I feel as though, women don’t understand. If you hit the gym, that’s sexy. Many women who call themselves thick have never been to the gym. If you are thick and hit the gym…great! If not, go pick up those sneakers. We like imagining you hitting that treadmill and enjoy the benefits from when you do!”

What it seems like ladies is the men are saying. They are ok with you being thick. However, they seem to be more interested in a healthy partner. So don’t blend the line of thick and fat. Call a spade a spade. Ladies, I say in love. Hit the gym, get your BMI, have a fit test taken, stop listening to what you think men want. Listen to your body, worry about your health and the longevity of your life. When you care about your body and love yourself that healthy glow will shine. You will have to beat them off with a stick.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of I’m Not Fat, I’m Thick: Images in the Media

Ladies, what do you think?

Men, do you agree?

Popularity: 16% [?]

Share and Enjoy:

Filed Under: Featured • Fitness and Health

Tags: Fat • Thick

About the Author:

President Anthony Taurus

I think we have to understand the different weight levels. You've got anorexic, skinny, average, thick, fat, and bitch (men included) can't move.

Now, I am a fat boy, 300+ lbs. It ain't like being gay. I can't hide my weight in the closet. When you see me, you'll know like dark skin, which I am too (well, caramel but that's another discussion lol). But, I admit that to myself. Living in honesty, helps me do the right things which is make an effort to lose some weight which I started about two months. Better late than never, right?

I think this is where women need to get their heads. They need to be honest with themselves and admit that they are fat. Thick means voluptuous, that is, juicy breasts, big booty, and little to NO stomach. If your gut is hanging over, yo ass is fat. It's like some women I see in the streets look like they're carrying around deflated babies. Those women may only have about 20lbs to lose but their ass is FAT. Then you got some women who maybe 40lbs "overweight" but it's all in the right places. That is THICK! They'd be considered fat according to the BMI because it's based on a bunch of scrawny ass white women who don't have all that cornbread booty, hips, and thighs. Black woman ain't gon lose that if her beautiful body is built that way! Nope!

I agree with Kevin that it depends on many factors, especially proportion. Shane's gotta point, no rolls. William is right as well. No one wants a bone on their plate. Robert is right too. That's the deflated baby having chicks I am talking about. They had the nice body in high school and never had to do a thing to keep it. Age is setting in and that metabolism has SLOOOOOOOWED down. That's why your gut, as small as it is, is hanging over. They ass is FAT!

Also, I blame men out there - those scrawny ass chubby chasing sumbitches!!!!!! They're the ones who run around lying to those big ass girls. She chasing me down 42nd street in a fucking moo moo. Real story! Sorry, I had a flashback. But, it's them scrawny ass dudes that like them big bertha chicks. When that big girl ask that little scrawny bastard if he think she fat, he tell her, nah baby you thick just how i like it. Bullshit! Be real. If you a fat girl and yo man is about the size of a mouse, he ain't with you because your thick. He with you because your fat!

~Allie.

Found you on urban blogger. Love the blog added you to our blogroll.I agree that there is a huge difference between fat and thick and I get so tired of people confusing the 2 in our community.

UBRINGMEJOI

thanks for this post, i know that though i'm 125 i too am not the healthiest that i can be but i go to the gym, i 'try' to watch what i eat, i drink a lot of water etc....

i've actually had men tell me that i need to gain weight- imagine that?! it's about loving you as you are but you also should want to be around to see the grandchildren, in 20/30 years.

sooooo many women think that if they have a phat butt that that means you are sexy, that you are going to snag a man, it might be nice in the bedroom but what about the rest of the hours in the day? the main point is there is nothing wrong with a little weight but if you go to the doctor and he says that it would be nice if you could shed a few pounds for your health then take their advice.

e

this article is soo necessary. every day i'm on the train i get squished by overweight and obese women. i blogged (personal not sassy) that i wanted to lose some weight and all my friends were like "no you're fine." well according to my BMI i'm overweight (just a little but still time to put some work in at the gym).

thank you POSH... *thinks to self, need to shout this out on saturday*

Shannon

This article has a great message. I have 2 BS degrees in the health/science field and too many women are unhealthy. I talk to women that are significantly overweight but they say they don't want to lose too much weight because they want to keep their "curves." I like women that are fit and lean and even muscular. The average American's idea of health and fitness has become very distorted. It is true that you can be healthy without having a six pack, but overweight is overweight. As African Americans we are already predisposed to things like hypertension and heart disease- no need to exacerbate the problem by being inactive and overweight. Being overweight and out of shape increase your risk of diabetes, heart disease, and hypertension- just to name a few. Wake up and get yourself healthy, you don't need to go to the doctor to find out your BMI and just use common sense.
This is not just directed at women, but the men too. Regular resistance training and cardiovascular exercises should be a part of everyone's life. For women lifting weights there are a myriad of benefits, and NO you will not turn into a bodybuilder- you will increase your strength, reduce your body fat, and look and feel healthier.

I love athletic and fit women and not to sound superficial, but someone's health says a lot about them as a person- by no means am I saying it makes them lazy, but it is a huge part of my life and I seek others that make health a priority. . I work everyday at trying to show people how important it is to be healthier and how much happier they'll be. This may have come off a bit strong, but I am very passionate about health and fitness and I hope this helps.

Esquire

Great article. I think Black women need to stop confusing being sticks with being healthy. Its great to love our curves, but let's be realistic, some of us are just fat as hell. Beyonce is thick, but sista girl works out on a regular and is healthy. Venus & Serena are thick, but their body fat is less than 16%. Hell I am much thinner than Venus but also a lot less healthier. This issue goes beyond vanity, it goes to health. You want healthy muscles, a healthy heart, healthy bones, etc. My grandmother died of diabetes and the last years of her life were terrible as the disease wrecked havoc on her body. I do not wish that on any woman. And she was not fat by normal societal standards, but her nutrition habits were terrible (mainly due to the fact she just didn't know any better). All that said, people can defend their size all they want, but at the end of the day, you'll have to live with the consequences of neglecting your health.

Anonymous

As a size 16 - 18 Black Woman, trust me girlfren i am Not fat!!!! in a westernised view point i may be considered to be Fat As a nubian Queen im Fit, Cultrally as a people we are not ment to be stick insects, and i can run after my Grandaughter all day, keep up with my man in bed and have nuff energy to do a good days work, and my arse still defies gravity, so stop adding to the hype and quit hating!!!!!!

CocoaDiva

Girl, I am happy for you that YOU are healthy. This may also be by your own standards. Have you been to a physician to determine whether your body agrees with you? Hey my doctor even has a term called "skinny fat people" who don't exercise and eat poorly but have great metabolism. These people have health problems too. The point of the article is to encourage Black women to work against societal constructs and evaluate their own bodies. If your right and Black women are supposed to be big.....why are we dying of diseases at a higher rate than any other ethnicty due to weight and lifestyle choices? Stats and numbers don't lie.....people do.

M. Buttafly

Please disregard. It is working on my comp today!

Madame Buttafly

Hey CocoaDiva,
The Last FM radio is not working. I come to this site everyday to read your insightful comments and then leave the window open to groove to neosoul through my workday. Please let me know what's going on.

Sincerely,

Madame Buttafly

Richard

Great post Cocoa. I definitely have to agree. It should be more about the women doing it for themselves first and for us second. Not just because it makes your attractiveness more strategic, but as both men and women get older, it gets harder to maintain a healthy weight, especially for women when they start having children. It's pertinent that we all get it right early on. Besides with all of the monkeys on our back as Black Americans, we need to be healthier to get those years back, whether you're overweight or underweight.

tauro

Excellent post Cocoa Diva! I'm gonna read part 2 and leave another comment, but I just wanted to commend you on this one.

OS9USER

Myself, I am one of the ones that like some meat to women. To skinny is gross !

This is a "Hot Potato" for men, so I will bow out here, but wanted to give you my 2 cents ....

CocoaDiva

I couldn't agree with you more!! However, the problem lies with women doing things because of what men think. I received many comments from men while losing weight encouraging me not to...so I wouldn't lose my thickness. If I was a woman who cared about all that I would be right where I was, 40 pounds heavier and on my way to heart disease and health problems.

The problem is women strive to acheive some body image envisioned by men. We want to be that chick with the big booty, or those thick thighs. Well, some of us aren't built that way. To acheive that look you have to be overweight.

The point is this. Don't worry about thickness or body image impressions from others. Find out your own stats and make a change!!

Renee

what matters is not what men think about our bodies but what we think of our bodies. Women have dedicated way too much of our time concerning ourselves with men.